Wednesday, August 19, 2009

How do I put this delicately?

It's a frickin' Twilight sex toy. There, I said it. There IS no delicate way of putting it. IT SPARKLES!! I soiled our lovely blog and probably made half of our readers scream in terror and the other half reach for their credit cards. I made our home into an abomination so that we could pass through Reaver space. I'm sorry fellow Buffyfest bloggers, but I feel I had no choice. What in the hellmouth is becoming of this Twilight fandom?????
Look, it fucking sparkles, people. It sparkles, it has a "deathly pale flesh tone reminiscent of the new moon's glow" and you can put it in the fridge for that "authentic" (i.e., dead vampire penis, for those that are still in shock) experience.

What would Twilight creator/Mormon Stephenie Meyer have to say about this?

via @Sunfire via Twitter who was wondering is this what she's missing by not reading vampire fanfic? Are there lots of references to this? Is it a thing? Please comment because inquiring (and disgusted) minds kinda want to know!
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11 comments:

  1. Michele Pearson aka "The Girl in Row B"August 19, 2009 at 10:21 PM

    Oh...my...god...

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  2. BarbaraAugust 19, 2009 at 11:29 PM

    Ditto for me. Well there is a Hello Kitty vibrator. Oh my God I don't know what to say.

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  3. crystalsingerAugust 19, 2009 at 11:49 PM

    I think I speak for everyone here when I say, "GnNnrrrRRrrrragggGGgghhhhhh???" :-o

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  4. AlisonAugust 20, 2009 at 12:03 AM

    Okay. The tweets make sense now. And also EW.

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  5. IceehAugust 20, 2009 at 12:35 AM

    My question is- who would take a dildo out into the sun to watch it sparkle?

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  6. STACEY MCCOOLAugust 20, 2009 at 2:49 AM

    exactly. this is simply bizarre.

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  7. JayunderscorezeroAugust 20, 2009 at 5:24 AM

    Hello Kitty vibrators are one thing, Barbara, as they look like, well, sex toys. This thing, however, is anatomically correct, as it were, so I can definitely imagine some hardcore Twilight fan getting their boyfriend to strap it on over their real thing for some glittery role-play. Ew, sorry for that image, everyone.

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  8. AnonymousAugust 20, 2009 at 8:14 AM

    In my brief tenure visiting this site, I've never seen so many comments in such a short period of time. This posting really brought all the perverts out of the woodwork.
    I just may have to get one of these for me mum this Christmas, put it in her stocking, and make it look like it's from my brother...

    Alex B.

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  9. AnonymousAugust 20, 2009 at 12:48 PM

    I .... Think I nearly threw up. What will they think of next? Twilight reached a new low..

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  10. Skytteflickan88August 24, 2009 at 2:47 PM

    Don't see why this bugs people. I think it's hilarious.

    Of course people will try to gain money from the Twilight fame, official merchandise or not.

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  11. Skytteflickan88August 24, 2009 at 2:49 PM

    And anonymous nr 1, most people here said "ew" or something alike it. How does that make them perverts?

    Btw, sex rules!

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