This just in: Interwebs succumb to the Bean

So you remember how on Sunday I was saying that Buffy's dream man in a perfect world would be Dean Winchester? Well, it turns out, that's becoming a fairly common belief. Now the article in that hyper text link talks about the similarities between the two (putting a heavy influence on the fact that they've both died and been forcibly resurrected to continue fighting a battle they were full and ready to check out of). To me, though, there's more that binds them than death.

For one (and this too got a mention) they both have siblings who are always getting themselves into trouble. Granted, Sam might not be so inept at everything that involves, you know, being a functional human being but he does seem to go waltzing directly into harm's way at every possible turn. Now I realize not everyone here finds Dawn to be... shall we say palatable? Sure, why not. Still, I kind of wonder what it would be like to see the Summers Sisters driving around in the Metallicar fighting evil. I actually think that could be super awesome.

But I'm going on a tangent. The real thing I want (what everyone should want) is a story about Buffy and Dean (or Bean, if you will). So what's the sitch? Why these two? Well, I'll tell you. It's more than just their both being hot (although that certainly does help). It's more a philosophical similarity, a code of ethics, a series of goals and the means in which they might achieve them. Did I already mention the hotness because, if not, hello hotness. I mean, for realz, yo. Damn.


Back to the philosophy. Let's switch roles for a second. Imagine it's Sam and Dean high above a growing maw that leads to hell on earth at the end of the Gift. What do you think Dean would do? Would he push his brother in and call it a day? See ya, Sammy! No. He'd do exactly what Buffy did. He'd save his kid brother and sacrifice himself. In fact he does pretty much exactly that at the end of Season Three of Supernatural. Neither Buffy nor Dean are afraid to make the hard decisions and they both fight for the ones they love no matter the cost.


Looking at Buffy in the comic, now more than ever she needs someone to rely upon. I mean just look at how alienated she's become from her friends. She just killed future Willow, Xander is still on the list of suspects for who might be Twilight, Giles is with Faith, and Dawn is... well let's just say she's being pretty Dawnish. Buffy needs a hero by her side. Can't be Angel because, let's face it, he really is almost definitely Twilight. Spike? I shudder to think if only because I think they are by far at their best when as far away from each other as possible (it's funny what mutual disdain and abuse will do to a relationship). Buffy needs someone new, someone who knows how to face off against the vampires, the demons, and all the other ooky uglies who jump out from under the bed. I don't know if I'd mentioned this already but the guy should probably be really hot because, let's face it, Buffy has EARNED IT.

Enter Dean Winchester. He's a brash badass with just enough goofiness to match with Buffy's tendency to get a little beer bad from time to time. He's got a soul, he's not a vampire so no curses involved, he wants to save the world but knows he can't keep doing it forever. Without so much as a single super power he can go toe to toe with any baddie. Let's see Xander Harris match that (P.S. he can't). Also? Jensen Ackles is the sexiest man alive. The end.

What's that? A skinless misogynist and his witchy pseudo girlfriend are trying to help an evil mastermind put an end to magic and destroy Buffy completely in the process? Well tell Buffy to jump into the Metallicar because it's time to go for a ride to kickass ville and "Eye of the Tiger" is playing on the radio. I bet they'd have the situation well in hand before they were even hungry enough to stop in a midwestern diner. Oh and... I gues Sam and Dawn and come along to. You know, for the lulz.