Friday, January 2, 2009
Here's a film that might have slipped under your radar. It's a romantic comedy starring Sarah Michelle Gellar and... Alec Baldwin. I know, I know. The mere thought makes you want to flee towards the vomitorium. That's understandable and I, too, had to resist the urge to yammie in a handbag while partaking of this movie.
But worry not, gentle readers, for I have a plan. By some stroke of luck(?), Suburban Girl is available in it's entirety through YouTube as a ten part series.
Here's what we're going to do: below you will find the first part of the series. By watching the film in ten minute intervals I think we all stand a good chance of chewing back the need to chunder.
After the jump, you can see the comments I made while watching. I essentially live blogged it and, now, so can you! As you watch, jot down your snarkiest thoughts and then post them, comment stylee. Ready? Let's begin!
- Oh, good, a montage of... editing a manuscript...? This is like the beginning of Mallrats except, you know, *boring*
- Yes! You craftily sneak those books to the display window, Smidgers! That's way more exciting than, say, slaying vampires.... wtf...
- Why is her hair so mousy and frizzy? This is so not the way.
- And now they are doing straight up text cards where they show "interesting" words *exactly* like "Clerks". Did we edit this film in the middle of a Kevin Smith marathon, people?!?!
- Yes, why not use a pen? It's not like you're an editor and constantly need to check and double check to make sure all the syntax is correct or anything. Shut up, stereotypical taxi driver.
- They sure like the word 'totally', huh? Am I suddenly watching 'Valley Girls'?
- "Hi, I have a bloated face" - Alec Baldwin
- Oh this is a book nerd's movie. I didn't realize. Ah, Smidge, you always appeal to some kind of hopelessly, socially handicapped group. Housewives as Kendall, vampire enthusiasts as Buffy and now this Brett girl for bibliophiles.
- You know, there's nothing more romantic than a man telling a girl what she's going to eat. Not misogynistic at all. Nope.
- And here's the plucky, old, bitch face. Thanks for making an appearance, yet another stereotype.
Anyway, clearly Baldwin is meant to be the Big to Smidge's Carrie Bradshaw. The movie instantly loses points for it's attempt to be anything like Sex and the City. That's right. I hate Sex and the City. Deal with it.
That's all for part one! Stay tuned for more pukey Smaldwin shipping! *barf*