Wait, Whedonless what now?

Don't ask what we were doing all day, but I'll tell you now that a dark development was revealed in the subject of the long rumored Whedonless Buffy movie.

I'm still calling bullshit on this whole thing, but since Joss himself commented today, let's play the game: Warner Brothers is apparently officially moving forward on a new feature film of the Whedonless Buffy the Vampire Slayer, having secured the rights from KuzuiFail and others. Here's the official press release:

LOS ANGELES, NOVEMBER 11, 2010 – Atlas Entertainment announced today it is rebooting the beloved franchise, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, with Warner Bros. Pictures. Atlas' Charles Roven and Steve Alexander will produce the feature film alongside Doug Davison and Roy Lee of Vertigo Entertainment (The Ring, How to Train Your Dragon, The Departed). Whit Anderson is writing the script.

Warner Bros. Pictures optioned the rights from creators Fran and Kaz Kuzui, and from Sandollar Productions (Sandy Gallin and Dolly Parton), for Atlas and Vertigo to produce. Buffy the Vampire Slayer first appeared as a film in 1992, subsequently becoming a cult hit and spawning the wildly popular television series starring Sarah Michelle Gellar and David Boreanaz, among many others.

"Whit approached us with an exciting idea about how to update Buffy," said Roven. "There is an active fan base eagerly awaiting this character's return to the big screen. We're thrilled to team up with Doug and Roy on a re-imagining of Buffy and the world she inhabits. Details of the film are being kept under wraps, but I can say while this is not your high school Buffy, she'll be just as witty, tough, and sexy as we all remember her to be."

The biggest question there is, did YOU know that Dolly Parton had rights into the Buffy franchise? I KNOW! Neither did we. You learn something new every day....

Anyway, here is El Jefe's response, via an e-mail sent to E! Online:


"This is a sad, sad reflection on our times, when people must feed off the carcasses of beloved stories from their youths — just because they can’t think of an original idea of their own, like I did with my Avengers idea that I made up myself.

Obviously I have strong, mixed emotions about something like this. My first reaction upon hearing who was writing it was, “Whit Stillman AND Wes Anderson? This is gonna be the most sardonically adorable movie EVER.” Apparently I was misinformed. Then I thought, “I’ll make a mint! This is worth more than all my Toy Story residuals combined!” Apparently I am seldom informed of anything. And possibly a little slow. But seriously, are vampires even popular any more?

I always hoped that Buffy would live on even after my death. But, you know, AFTER. I don't love the idea of my creation in other hands, but I'm also well aware that many more hands than mine went into making that show what it was. And there is no legal grounds for doing anything other than sighing audibly. I can't wish people who are passionate about my little myth ill. I can, however, take this time to announce that I'm making a Batman movie. Because there's a franchise that truly needs updating. So look for The Dark Knight Rises Way Earlier Than That Other One And Also More Cheaply And In Toronto, rebooting into a theater near you.

Leave me to my pain! Sincerely, Joss Whedon."

For more, check out the Los Angles Times Blog.